{Click here for a rollover graphic of the damage in NOLA.}

Last night was the first time I’ve sat down and watched footage of the aftermath of the hurricane (as well as coverage of the storm as it passed through). We watched it for about an hour before we went to bed.

I really dislike the comparison of Katrina to the tsunamis of December. There are a couple of reasons for this:

1. WELL over 200,000 people were killed, many thousands more still missing. Approximately 80% of those killed were women. This will have a long lasting impact on their culture and there is already a noted increase in sexual harrassment, rape, and arranged marriages because of the severe drop of females in the population. Additionally, many, many children were also killed or orphaned. This will affect their culture for a long, long time.

2. There was PLENTY of warning for people in the path of the hurricane to get out. I understand that some have pets, some do not have transportation, and I am not criticising the choices they made - but it is not fair to compare days of warnings to prepare appropriately to being hit with absolutely no warning whatsoever.

3. Indonesia is not a well-developed country that has the quality of medical resources that America does. They were living with disease and infection before the tsunamis. They were living with less-than-ideal drinking water before the tsunamis. What little they had was completely destroyed and there were many remote areas where rescue workers were completely unaware of any human settlements…by the time they were discovered, people were already dying of hunger, disease, and infection.

That said, the footage of the damage looked remarkably like the aftermath of the tsunamis. The places affected are going to need tremendous amounts of assistance. I wish I could go there to help. Right now, the things that are needed the most are money and people to help. Material goods are not, at this point, very helpful. There is a greater need for shelters, food and medical resources than there is for clothes, toothbrushes and toys. Those items will be useful eventually, but right now the crisis calls for other things.

So please, if you can afford to give any amount of money, please help and donate to the American Red Cross, either via the link here or by calling 1-800-HELP-NOW. Also, please consider donating blood either at a local Red Cross chapter or through a hospital organized blood drive.

And please, ensure that you and your family have a plan for an emergency. It’s recommended to have three months’ worth of salary in savings in case of an emergency. Have a point of contact at least a hundred miles from where you live that you can contact to inform of your whereabouts. Make sure that you have at least 3 days’ worth of food and water (one gallon per person per day is recommended, more if there are special circumstances such as pregnancy/nursing/illness/etc.) for each member of your household. Make sure that you have enough medication for any health problems you have, and that if you have an infant, that you have enough diapers, wipes, formula and bottles, and infant-specific medication (Tylenol, diaper rash treatment, etc.) to last a minimum of 3 days.

There is an excellent, comprehensive list of items recommended to have on hand in case of an emergency that can be found at Ready America. These recommendations are not only for people in the path of a hurricane - natural disasters can hit ANYWHERE and everyone should be able to gather the items necessary to evacuate in a short period of time.

Please, donate to the American Red Cross and then prepare yourself in case of an emergency wherever you live.

Number 7 on my list of 101 things to do in 1,001 days (which has evolved to be 104 in 1,004 is to have a photography exhibit somewhere.

I hesitated to put that on there because it was one of those things that was so far-fetched that I wasn’t sure I’d really be able to do it.

An opportunity came up waaaay back in May. There was a call in the local paper for digital photographers for an exhibition in September. Score! I emailed the point of contact and received a reply (this all happened in May) that said the prospectus was going out that week and would email be acceptable? I replied that it would, and last week I realized it is awfully close to September now. I emailed the POC again and got a quick reply with the prospectus that said that entries were due by Sunday, August 28th. Yeah, I got the prospectus on Sunday, August 28th. I called and was told that I could submit my entry late - yay! So the scrambling began.

Sunday I went through all of my pictures. That is a LOT of stuff. I narrowed it down to 9, then to 7 by eliminating the two pictures of the kids that I wasn’t comfortable with potentially selling (all pictures submitted must be priced with the intent to sell). I posted a couple of polls on some messageboards I was on to gauge other people’s feelings toward the pictures and got a very positive response. Between the feedback I received as well as my own feelings and opinions about the pictures, I decided on three pictures to submit (you could submit a maximum of 3).

Next was getting them printed: I rushed home from work a half hour early so I could get them done that last night. Now, I have two computers and literally thousands of images. Looking for some of those pictures was going to be like searching for a needle in a haystack. Fortunately, one of the pictures I had only taken 2 days earlier so I had it readily available. Another was taken at a memorable time: last Thanksgiving while I was in port in Hawaii. The third I was a bit overwhelmed with finding, but lucky me! I was smart enough to copy it to my laptop in case I ever wanted to print it out. Yippee! I edited all three pictures and uploaded them to my website, called Niki to find out if they made it up ok and if she was able to see anything on them that I didn’t (I was working on my uncalibrated LAPTOP, not so good for imaging!). As soon as I got the go-ahead from her, I left to drive to the Costco in Tukwila, about 45 minutes away.

Fortunately I packed Anja with me, because I was driving right smack in the middle of rush hour. Hello, HOV lane! I saved probably a half an hour driving in the HOV lane and probably would have been even faster had it not been for the guy towing a giant boat going 40 - definitely better than the apparent 5 miles an hour everyone else was averaging, but he could’ve gone the speed limit. Once I passed him, it was smooth sailing and I got to Tukwila in a record breaking 35 minutes.

Let me just say that Costco is THE place for quick prints. I would have preferred to print them out at my online lab, but I didn’t have the time, and they did a fabulous job in a pinch. Unfortunately, one of my pictures was an odd size (I had it sized for 10″x10″) and it didn’t print out the first time, so we had to wait more time for it to get printed. When it finally did get printed, it was an 8″x8″.

That brings me to framing. I rushed to Michaels before they closed and got there at 8:00pm. I went right to the framing section where they have the mats and frames and everything.

They had no mats for a size 12×18 picture. OK, one of them I could frame as an 11×14 and be OK with that. But the other one I could NOT crop at all. It would have destroyed the entire picture to cut any of it off. So I asked them if they do same-day custom mats (yeah, at 8pm when they close at 10). They said no, it takes 7-10 days. Gulp. I’ve got like 7-10 HOURS. However, a saint of an employee said, “I’ll do it for you.” WOW! So she did it for me, beautifully. A nice, plain, white mat. I found a frame that it’d fit in. I found a mat and a frame for an 11×14. Things are working.

However, there was NOTHING for an 8×8. After forking over $38 - THIRTY EIGHT DOLLARS! for a PLAIN WHITE MAT butwhatever - I got a mat for an 11×14 and then a 16×20 frame and a 20×28 frame.

I got back to Niki’s house and we spent a good couple of hours getting the pictures done. What a total PITA. We finally got them done and I left her house at about 11:40pm…ugh. But thank god for Niki - I don’t know what I would’ve done without her encouragement, because I really wanted to just give up and quit. I did give up on the square picture, as there were NO frames that worked and I just did not have the time to get anything custom made.

I submitted the pictures today - more stress as I was running late because of work and then got caught in traffic at the ferry and had one last-ditch effort to get a frame for a third picture but then realized I didn’t have the wire to hang it.

But it’s now DONE, and I should hear by Friday whether or not they were accepted for the exhibit; prizes will be posted September 8th and then official opening reception is on Sunday, Sep. 11th and the exhibit will continue through September. The first prize is $100, then $75, then $50, then 2-3 honorable mentions.

I am so excited that it is done, and that (hopefully) I will have my photographs exhibited!!

I’ve been on a messageboard for years, and for most of those years there has been a member from Wisconsin whose son has a form of brain cancer, medullablastoma. He has fought it for years, and I’ve always read their Caring Bridge blog and followed his journey, hoping for a miracle for him. I’ve watched in amazement at his courage and persistence while fighting this disease.

So sadly, a couple of days ago he came down with a septic infection, and his mom has just said that he will not live through this. I cannot imagine being a parent and realizing that about your child.

Here is his webpage if you’re interested in leaving a note for the family and reading about this incredible little boy.

Colin’s Journey

Lately I have been feeling like B and I are doing a very good job as a team being parents.

Our kids are very different, as I have mentioned before. Isak is very focused and logical, content to be in one place doing one thing for a long time. When he gets upset, he seems to make it very personal - he gets almost in a rage, lashing out both physically and emotionally. He has a hard time controlling himself, and makes statements like, “I’m never going to play with you again,” or “You’re not in the family anymore,” or “I’m going to forget about all the good times we’ve had.” While many of his statements made in anger are funny, I know he’s very upset when he says them and it is hard to hear some of the things he says. Once he’s over the initial anger, he sulks for a long time and seems to need to be alone with himself for a while or have a good amount of one-on-one talking time with one of us.

Anja, on the other hand, tends to give self-appointed time outs. That much of it is good, but she will go in her room and not be able to calm herself down, at all. She will not listen - you can see that clearly when you try to talk to her. Calmly, firmly, loudly, angrily, she will not listen to anything we have to say when she is having a tantrum. We often have to just let her ride it out for a while. She seems to take out a lot of her anger physically, but not by hitting things or people; rather, by kicking or flailing her arms wildly. It’s a little strange, to be honest, to see her have one of these fits.

So those are the problems, but what are the solutions?

Isak seldom needs punishment. He is usually very well-behaved. I have encouraged him to talk a LOT which seems to work for him. For example, last night I called him inside since I had a migraine. He came in and was visibly upset and struggling to control himself from crying. He was on the verge of tears but was holding them back, and said in an impressively respectful tone, “Mamma, I was playing with some boys who usually are mean to me, and I made up a game and they think it’s fun, please can I play outside a little longer?” One of the things that also seems to work with him is letting him pick limits that are reasonable and negotiating from there. I asked him if he went outside, how much longer did he think was fair? He said 20 minutes. Perfect, I though. Unbelievably, he brought himself in after 20 minutes without even needing to be called. How, I don’t know, because he can’t tell time, but I sure was impressed. This kind of solution has been working well - letting him pick out a time to get his hair cut, picking out his own clothes, picking out how many more minutes until we go somewhere. If it’s unreasonable, we bargain: Isak - “Let’s go in an hour.” Me: “No, how about we go in 5 minutes?” “A half an hour?” “2 minutes?” “10 minutes?” “OK.” 10 minutes is a reasonable amount of time for me and now he felt like he got to have some control over the situation. Generally this works the best at preventing him from getting out of control; it has still proven challenging to find out how to help him regain control once he’s past that point.

Anja has needed a firm approach from us: Zero tolerance has seemed to be B’s approach and has worked very well. At the first sign of her losing it, he sends her right to her room - not much leeway there, but she is starting to respond to it and often shapes up on a warning. Redirection has been important, and I wish I had done that at a younger age with her. I also think that things will become a little easier when she starts school, as she will then be able to make friends with other girls her age. Right now she gets sad when Isak would prefer to play with his friends and doesn’t want her tagging along. She really enjoys doing stuff with us - cooking with us is one of her favorites and she has actually become quite skilled and coordinated, able to stir things without splashing, adding ingredients without spilling, etc. She needs a lot of one-on-one time and attention, and often giving her that time will make it so that she’ll be able to spend time entertaining herself later on. 5 minutes of direct attention will give us a half an hour or an hour of time doing things we need/want to do (letting her cook for 5 minutes will satisfy her so we can finish the rest of the dinner ourselves.)

We’re also giving them more responsibility now in keeping the house. Their responsibilities are to keep their room clean, to take any toys that have made their way out of their bedroom back in, to clean off the dining room table, and to line up the shoes in the entranceway. Since we have a rule that toys stay in the bedroom, most of the time all they need to do are line up the shoes and put the dishes in the sink, which is completely reasonable for chores for their age. They’re also receiving allowance ($1 a week; Isak will get more based on his grades now) and so everything seems to be falling into place.

I’m hoping that the recent pleasantness that we’ve been enjoying stays around. We only have a couple more months until we move and I want them to have the ability to control themselves so when we’re travelling and settling down in a new place it doesn’t become overwhelming for them.

Only 4 months until we move!

We took a walk over to Isak’s school this evening - he is very excited that he is going to be a first grader this year. He had a great time playing on the school’s brand new playground and now that the monkey bars are lower and closer to the ground, he is much more confident in attempting to cross them - he made it halfway across the monkey bars before falling, but I think when he realized how short he had to fall, it made him much more secure than before.

He had a great time exploring the new equipment, hopping from toy to toy, wanting to be chased around, finding both new and old friends to play with. He’s such a delightful little boy, it makes me so happy and proud to see the ideas he comes up with and his ability to approach anyone as a friend. I hope this stays with him as he grows older - it’s a quality he seems to have gotten from his daddy who is equally outgoing and friendly and can make friends with anyone…unlike me and my loner-ness!

Isak found this cool woodchip on the playground and put it on his finger, declaring it a magical sorcerer’s ring:

Cute as a button, complete with freckles:

Back at the playground at home:

The world’s best daddy, reason #317:

Daddy paints his babygirl’s tootsies to match her shoes:

We went for a walk today. Anja introduced me to the man walking a dog outside: “This is my wife.”

And then on our walk to the school playground, Anja decided that today she wants to be a girl cowboy. And she wants to ride horses. And wear a girl cowboy hat and girl cowboy boots. Apparently, with red toenails.

My big girl is proud of her new ability to turn cartwheels and did a bunch of them until it was time to go in…the only way I could get her to come in was to cartwheel all the way home. You can click on the picture for a larger version.

She is getting MUCH better with her behavior lately, finally starting to listen and being able to control herself at least somewhat when she gets upset. Most of the credit goes to the big B, who stays home with her all day and is unbelievably patient with her considering what she puts him through. Her patience is helping her in other things, too: we fed the ducks tonight and Anja was very excited when I came outside with the end of a loaf of bread. She proudly announced to me, “I remember what you told me last time about feeding the ducks. I will hold still and be patient to feed them.” And sure enough, she was so patient, holding perfectly still for quite a stretch each time until the ducks came to her to snatch the breads out of her fingers. There were more ducks than I have EVER seen before, everywhere, most of them juveniles, the males with their blue-green feathers poking through their baby feathers on their heads - my favorite.

Anja and the ducks:

Only a few pictures, nothing special - thank you so much to Tanya for lending us her camera! Professional cameras were not allowed and I don’t have a point-and-shoot, so she lent me hers.

A panoramic view of the view from the Gorge - this does not do it justice. You can click on this one for a larger version. I had to stitch a few pictures together, so it’s not entirely seamless, but you get the idea:

B and me:

The youngest fan we saw: