The aliens, they took my babies!
And I think maybe they can just go ahead and keep them, because I am loving the new kids they replaced the old kids with.
We have been taking Anja in to the developmental specialists about some of her issues. When it comes down to it, between my history, our description of her behaviors, and their observations of her, they have seen that she has attention problems and no impulse control. We’ve gotten a few ideas on ways to help her and even though we still have a long way to go with her, I’m grateful that they have been helping us with ways to parent her and haven’t even so much as mentioned the possibility of medication.
She still has a hard time at home, but we’re working on that and staying firm and I think it is working. More importantly, her behavior at school is great. Her teacher has a policy where they start out their day on a “3″ and if they have a good day of following the rules and behaving well they will remain on the 3. If they have problems through the day and are warned, they drop to a 2, and eventually to a 1. She had a few 2s but since we’ve been going to the therapists with her, she’s gotten a 3 every day! And now we have started a reward policy where if she gets a 3 every day in a week, she gets a poker chip and when she gets 4 or 5 chips, she gets to buy a book at the store.
Today I went to pick them up and I stared in awe as Isak waited at the school door for Anja to get out of class, and then they ran together, laughing and playing together the whole way, until they got to the pickup area. No fighting, no yelling, nothing. And THEN, as if my mind wasn’t already having a hard enough time comprehending this sudden change in behavior between those two, I came out to find them sitting at the picnic table outside coloring. Together. Quietly. On paper, not each other.
So aliens, consider this your early Christmas present. You can keep my kids, I’ll keep these sweet ones that you swapped them with.
Dan
Nice story. I was thinking save 5 chips and get tub of ice cream, or a new barbiemobile, or some highly rewarding girlie thing. But a book?
If that was me, you’d have a lot of chips for your friday night poker parties! Other than that, I like the implementation of gambling devices in her life! HAHAHAHA!
Karyn
Well, for her a book nowadays IS very rewarding! She suddenly got really into the whole book thing. Plus, Isak has a huge shelf full of books and she has none.
Plus, I don’t want to reward her for expected behavior AND especially not with food because I have issues with food and I don’t want to use food as a reward hardly at all. We’ll go out for the occasional ice cream cone but that’s generally not specifically as a reward.
We’ll see how this all goes…in 15½ years.
Elizabeth
For what it’s worth, I am very impressed with both you and B. I am in awe of how you handle Anja, both in your limit setting, and also in recognizing that she is so completely unique. Your commitment to understanding that in her, and wanting to support it within bounds, is totally admirable. And the fact that you are seeking help with new ways to do that makes you even more remarkable parents. Kudos to the whole family. And great for Anja for loving books.