As most readers know by now, I suffer from frequent and very severe migraines.  From what my mom tells me, I’ve been having migraines since I was 3, but I was never diagnosed.  As an adult, when one would come on, I’d take a couple of Motrin (800mg a pop) and it’d keep it at bay, but it’d still be there - sometimes for days.  I went in a couple of times since I’ve been in the Navy but I’ve only really gotten one medication, Midrin, which did nothing except put me to sleep.  When I talked to my doctor about that (this was way back in Iceland), he gave me a lecture about not being fit for military duty, and that scared me enough to stay away and self-medicate using the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

Then a few years ago when I was on the ship, I got a migraine and I had to go in.  And that was only because the floors in the bathroom were gross and I couldn’t lock myself in and hug the toilet all nice with my face pressed to cold tile.  The thought of doing that on a ship would probably make any person who’s been on a ship get more than a little bit nauseous.

When I was there, I was seen by someone (who ended up being a very good friend) who gave me a shot and finally put it in my record.  When I got back to land, I kind of reverted back to the nauropathic remedy of face-to-tile because it’s just so hard to get up and go somewhere in the middle of a migraine.  And when I’m feeling well, I don’t even want to think about my migraines.

But then I got here, and I went to Iraq, and when I was in Iraq I got a couple that somehow just woke me up.  As soon as I got back, I went in and talked to my doctor who suggested a medication I’d never even heard of.

It’s called Zomig, or Zolmitriptan, and for the first time that I can remember, I have something that works.  Every time.  Perfectly, with no side effects.  In fact, the only side effect I’ve ever noticed is that I can’t shut up about how much better I feel, and that really only bothers B.

I’ve been coming down with something, which today I found out is a sinus infection, and I haven’t been sleeping at night.  So last night when I couldn’t sleep and was in huge amounts of pain, I figured it was just the usual sinus pressure.  But it got worse, and worse, and now not only could I not sleep but I was in tears and getting nauseous and couldn’t breathe right, and I realized I was having a migraine.  I’m kind of dumb like that.

I only had one pill, and a crisis because I do not like taking my last pill.  The last time I went in, they said I went through them quickly enough that I should take a migraine prevention med, which I did not like at all.  So I stopped.  And now I was out.  I took my last pill and cried, partly because it hurt so damn bad and partly because this meant I was out of pills.

I wouldn’t usually work so quickly, but for reasons outside of my control I had to call and make a same-day appointment.  I was diagnosed with the sinus infection (the first time I’ve been diagnosed and I’ve had this happen often so I guess I have recurring sinus infections?) and while I was there, I casually mentioned the Zomig and voila, a refill.  When I got my bag, I unexpectedly teared up, tears of gratitude that I finally don’t have to suffer anymore.

ANYONE who reads this who has lived with migraines and hasn’t found anything that works or is afraid to ask, please, please, suck it up and talk to your doctor.  It has been so incredible to be able to take something and FIX it, and feel better.  I don’t think I’m ever as grateful as I am when I take this medication and can get back on with my life.

‘Twas last night, a dark and unstormy night.

From a heavily congested and not-so-sound sleep, deep in my subconscious I hear a “squeak” at 3:30am. I try desperately to dream an excuse for why something would have gone “squeak” at 3:30am. This is followed by a second, similar “squeak”, and then a third. I slowly start coming out of my heavily congested and not-so-sound sleep, and I hear the quiet twinkle of Ala Spit’s metal tag on her collar. Another “squeak” follows, and this time my heart speeds up a bit wondering what the source of this squeaking is.

Through squeezed-shut eyes, I whisper, “WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?” to B, correctly assuming that by now he has also heard the squeaking. A grunt, which is Man for “Seriously? Do you think I’m going to get out from under this giant down comforter when it’s 67° in the house and try to be a hero?” follows.

Another squeak.

I bolt up in the bed and lean forward to see past the end of the bed and my eyes make out the shape of Ala Spit, a Croc, and a small, round, dark blob.

For a moment I think one of the cats has thrown up on the floor, but the shape just doesn’t make sense to be vomit. I quietly say, “I’m going to turn on the bedside light, okay?” which is followed by another grunt, which is Man for, “Whatever. As long as I don’t have to get up and get out from under this down comforter which by the way is sooooo warm and comfortable.”

I twist the antique light and from the dim 20-watt glow, slowly turn to see what is going on.

I watch as Ala Spit reaches around the Croc and pokes at the still-unidentifiable lump on the floor, which is followed by another “squeak” and A GIANT FROG-LIKE LEAP.

Using all my self control not to scream, I calmly and quietly throw myself onto the bed and under the covers and calmly and quietly say, “WHY. IS. THERE. A. FROG. IN. MY. BEDROOM?!?!” I throw the covers off of me to watch in disbelief as the cat prods, the frog squeaks, and I try my best to maintain my calm demeanor.

B grunts again, which was Man for, “Shit.”

He finally gathers up all of his manly man-ness and like the brave, brave soul that he is, walks to the end of the bed, looks down at the frog, and continues walking to the bathroom to take a piss.

Leaving me all alone, face-to-face with a prodding cat and a squeaking frog.

Might I add that in the course of my life and experiences, every PBS show that I’ve seen has shown frogs “croaking”. Since when do frogs “squeak”? As probably correctly hypothesized by B, who hypothesizes well while he’s on the toilet letting his wife bravely battle a giant squeaking frog, frogs probably squeak when they’ve been out of the water and in our house for a couple of days.  Ater having been captured and subjected to scientific “research” by the infamous Anja Rós.

After getting the smallest disposable Rubbermaid container and a Taylor Hicks CD, I finagle the frog into the individual-pudding-sized container and prepare to release it into the wild green yonder outside of my front door. But B, in his helpful helpfulness, makes a request from atop the toilet to please not let it go, can we keep it to show his family when they come visit?

So now, while he remains on the toilet throughout the entire conscious portion of the Squeaking Frog Incident, I saw through yet another lid to my disposable Rubbermaid container, the last lid with a matching bottom, to make a habitat for yet another creature to be “explored” by our wannabe veterinarian/entomologist/scuba diver, Anja Rós.

Today I was told there is a newer version of a form than the one I had found when gathering all the documents for immigration. It’s called the DD 1278, and it’s a form certifying that a legal alien is accompanying their military spouse overseas which serves to waive the requisite amount of time they must live in the U.S..

The form that I was using is dated May 2000. It’s a very short form that has only two paragraphs: one for spouses and one for adopted children. The paragraph about spouses reads:

“____________________, who is the dependent spouse of the above named sponsor has been authorized to accompany or join the sponsor overseas on or about ________________ and will reside with the sponsor while abroad.”

However, there’s a new form DD 1278. This one was revised in February 2006. I reviewed it and my jaw dropped and I sat there in disbelief as I read it:

“Mrs. ___________________________ who is the dependent wife of the above named individual has been authorized to accompany or join him overseas on or about _______________________ and will reside with him while abroad. ”

It is unrevisable in its format. There is no option to change the wording of the document. There is no alternate word to line out, like “Mr./Mrs.” or “the dependent wife/husband” or “join him/her”.

For the last 8 years that I have been married, nearly every conversation that’s been had about being married has included “Your husband is active duty, too, right?” or something along those lines. Is it really such a new concept that women serve their country, too? I’ve known more and more women who were the only person in their family on active duty - in fact, 6 women of the women that have worked in my office over the last few years have all been the only one on active duty. And if you’re looking for statistics, that’s 100% of the women - there has not been one woman in my office for the last at least 3 years that wasn’t the sole active duty member in their family.

In this day and age, I find it appalling that someone in our government would be so blatantly ignorant and would change a pre-existing document to read this way.

I wish I knew how to get it changed. I wish I could write a letter to someone, but unfortunately, I know that if I do, it’ll be lost among the shuffle and thrown into a pile and most likely never read, never responded to, or certainly never acted upon. But damn, does it piss me off.

Sitting outside of Subway eating lunch, the speakers overhead have the radio station broadcasting while we eat.

“I hate this song.”

“Mamma, why do you hate it? It’s not such a bad song.”

“Because all they sing is, ‘Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?’ That’s not exactly musical genius there.”

“Oh.”

“Who sings that song, anyway, B? Is it Nickelback?”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s the Foo Foo Fighters.”

Since I came back from Iraq, my division of the office has been Legal Assistance.  It was the only part of the office I hadn’t worked in before.  The biggest - and definitely most mystifying - part of my duties is being the command representative for all the commands on base for Immigration and Naturalization.

After getting by with the minimum amount of knowledge necessary to get what I need to get done, done, I got 3 packages in 1 day and it was then that I decided I should probably force myself to learn the process better.

So I set out to learn everything I need to know and to make standard emails to send out with all the information to give to interested people.  It’s been a huge undertaking, but in the last 5 days, I managed to get a good grasp on what I’ve avoided for the last 6 months.

Believe it or not, my intention in my project this week was just to learn it, but by day 4 I’m thinking what better way to put this new knowledge to use than to apply it directly to us, and so?  In about a year, there will be one more U.S. citizen, one with the very short nickname of “B”.