I’m thinking the hardest part of parenting has got to be dealing with bullies.  Or rather parenting a kid being bullied.  It’s hard because we aren’t sure what to do.

He’s almost 8.  He comes home from school, does some homework, and then disappears outside to play with his “friends”.  Every day he inevitably comes home angry after a couple of hours and slumps into a chair at the table so we can ask him what’s going on.  Every day there’s a new story.  So-and-so was my friend yesterday but today he’s mean.  I wanted to play a game that I made up but my friend didn’t want to follow the rules and now he won’t play with me.
I can understand those fights.  But he comes home telling me an older kid is trying to punch him in the stomach, that they’re stealing his things, they’re calling him stupid, an idiot, etc.  And the one older kid is turning into a neighborhood gang.  Last weekend a kid knocked on the front door to tattle and say that Isak threw a rock at another kid just now.  Problem was, Isak was sitting in the kitchen eating toast, and had been there for a good hour.  Long story short, that kid got an earful from me and was sent on his way.

And on it has gone since then.   Yesterday, Isak came in, once again, slumped at the table and said how the kids are stealing his things and calling him names and trying to hit him and making up lies about him.  I asked about it and he told me they were trying to say he hit one of them with a rock (this is an ongoing theme around here, the rock story - nice, huh?) when he did not hit him with a rock, he just got scratched by it when he was trying to mess with Isak.  This story ended him up inside and away from the neighborhood kids, yet again.

Today we got a knock on the door by an irritated mother with her 9ish-year-old boy in tow who claims that Isak hit him with a rock yesterday.  At the time Isak was out playing, and we talked to them about it and told them we would deal with Isak appropriately.  As soon as they were gone, B got Isak and I sat down to find out exactly what happened.

Now, I’m not one to think my kids are perfect - far from it.  He knew he was in trouble from the moment he stepped in the house.  The problem was, the stories didn’t just not add up, but I was seething angry by the time the story was done.

It turned out that he did scratch another kid on the hand with a rock (”it was an accident!  He moved his hand when I was throwing the rock away!”) which got him a good scolding and grounding, but the thing is, at the end of the story, he gave a completely different name as to who this happened to.  I told him it was another kid that came over, and at that point he got confused and frustrated and told me the story of how this kid has constantly been bullying him and he was pinned down on the ground and the other kid was attacking his head WITH A ROCK IN HIS HAND and Isak was trying to push him off of him and pushed the other kid’s hand into his face.

I just don’t know what to do at this point.  I told him I don’t want him playing with any of those kids and if they’re anywhere around, to leave and that he is not to play with them.  The problem is, all of the kids in the neighborhood that are his age are playing with these kids.

My biggest regret is that we didn’t call Isak back in to tell her his side of the story and defend himself, because part of me thinks that if he was there, maybe she would have seen that her “angel” is a neighborhood bully that comes over to OUR neighborhood to bully the younger kids around.   Except that I somehow doubt that based on her introduction to us (announcing her rank and command?  for a parent-to-parent issue?  are you kidding me?) and fact that she has never even been on this street before and knows not one child here, that anything would have changed her attitude about it.

So what?  What do I do?  Do I lock Isak in the yard and have to explain to him when he can’t understand why he can’t go play outside like all of the other kids?  Do I hover over the kids and set up a lawnchair in the front yard so I can make sure the big kids are playing nice?  WHAT?