Sushi tonight?

I just saw that when I was about to check my email and thought mmm, sushi.

I’ve had sushi a few times.  Mostly just the rolled-rice-in-seaweed kind of sushi which isn’t really sushi, I know, but I like it.  And wasabi.  Yum.  I’ve only been out for real sushi once, and that was when my friend Elizabeth took me with her family to her favorite sushi place in D.C. and we sat at the traditional style tables and ate a bunch of different kinds of sushi. 

I think that even if I hadn’t liked the taste of the sushi, I would have liked it anyway, because of the whole experience. 

Elizabeth is a different kind of friend.  I would consider to be one of my handful of closest friends - kind of ironic considering we’ve known each other for about 7 years and have only met a handful of times in person.   And yet when we meet up in person, there’s no feeling uncomfortable; I don’t think she’d allow it. 

Since I’ve been here, she’s been in contact regularly through emails and snail mail.  Whenever I get an email from her, it makes me feel so happy…in her own small way she brings some normalcy back to my life.  I forget where I am when I read a letter from her.  I feel like I’m living a block away and can go watch her son play a rapping Mako shark in his school’s musical. 

And then I remember where I am.  It’s always a bit jarring to come back to reality.  And often, I find myself asking what reality is anymore.  I’ve spent the last 4 years in such a constant state of motion.  I wonder what I’m doing to my kids - how can they possibly come out of this unscathed when I know how I feel about it, and they are certainly affected by me?  I only realized last night how little stability we’ve had as a family over these last years. 

In October 2002, I left Iceland to go to school for my current career field.  2 months later, in December, the family joined up with me and in January (2003), we ended up in Whidbey Island.  There for a year, just getting adjusted, we moved again in December of 2003 to Everett, and then in 9 months later in September of 2004 I went on the ship.  Came back 5 months later in March of 2005 and 9 months after that we moved to Spain.  6 months later, off to Iraq for 6 more months of being gone.

Soon I go back.  Will I get to stay in one place for the next 2 years?  Will my number come up and they send me on another deployment?  How is that going to affect me if I do have to go out again?  And more importantly, how is that going to affect my family?  Even barring any future deployments, how has the amount of stress of the last 4 years affected our strength?  At what point does the tension cause the rubber band to break?  Is it strong enough that even a ridiculous amount of tension may stretch it but won’t cause it to break?  I want the magic crystal ball, I want to know if it will all be OK and I want to know how my kids will come out of this and how B will come out of this and how I will come out of this.

I got a great motivational, inspirational email in my inbox the other day that I printed out and carry with me.  One of the lines is one that I’ve thought about more than most of the others.

 Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

Follow the 3 R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Spend some time alone every day.

Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life.  Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation.  Don’t bring up the past.

Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.

Be gentle with the earth.

Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

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