Happy Belated Thanksgiving

Hi everybody, Happy belated Thanksgiving! I had intended to make a few phone calls yesterday, but that ended up not working out so well. A recap of my Baghdad Thanksgiving:

0500 – Wake up, there was a distinguished visitor coming at 7 for breakfast with the Navy and a re-enlistment. I did not have an iron (the iron of death was covered with black goop when it was returned to me, so there went that $30 iron) so I was waking up early so I could go to the PX and buy an iron to iron my uniform to make myself look respectable.
0505 – Realize I don’t have a credit card and $3 in Pogs (plastic covered paper coins they use here as currency) won’t buy me a new iron.
0506 – Ask roommate if she has any money I can borrow til lunchtime. She doesn’t.
0507 – Meditate as to how to solve this situation.
0650 – End meditation session suddenly with a big “Oh, shit!”…and an un-pressed uniform.
0700 – Get to DFAC (dining facility). Wait for distinguished visitor to arrive.
0720 – Secretary of the Navy arrives. My Chief tells me I am the official unofficial photographer. Cool, except that my batteries are dead. Chief hands me keys and tells me to find that car which is in a general direction but I’m not exactly sure where.
0722 – Running, the first PT I’ve done in the 5 months I’ve been here
0724 – Still running, and no idea where this car is
0726 – Locate car. Locate batteries. Unfortunately, there were only 2 batteries and I needed 4.
0727 – Running again. See a person coming out of a building. Nearly run him down, ask if he has any double A batteries, that the secretary of the navy is at the DFAC and is going to be re-enlisting my chief, and I only have 2 batteries. Except this comes out sounding more like “You, batteries, have, 4, double A, secnav, my, chief, will, kill, me.”
0730 – Run back to the DFAC with 6 batteries.
0731 – Make it just in time for the re-enlistment. Try to find a place to take a picture because EVERYONE HAS A CAMERA. Including the official official photographer, the guy I work with who elbowed me out of the way, the 3 other people I work with, and the 26 other people with cameras trying to get a spot in the front.
0745 – Meet the Secretary of the Navy, thank him for coming out here, hey, while you’re here, do you happen to have a coin?
0746 – Gloat, gloat, gloat
0800 – Back to work. Work work work, yadda yadda yadda.
1300 – Hail and farewell ceremony for the group of us that are leaving soon. Finally! I am leaving soon! Receive award, get 2 more coins (one on behalf of the deputy commanding general, one from the commanding officer), stumble through something trying not to sound like an idiot and cut it short while I’m ahead. Though I’m really not far ahead, so I guess it probably didn’t matter.
1400 – Off for thanksgiving dinner.
1430 – As I’m walking through the chow hall with my tray of food, my M16 falls off of me. It just unravels and falls to the ground. This, of course, would happen to me on the busiest day of the year in the chow hall.
1500 – I’m off for the day.
1510 - Run into my Chief and try not to cry as she’s leaving in a few days.  She gives me a coin, dries my tears right up.  Just kidding. 
1512 – Wally and me stand on the corner talking to Chief.  She tries to pimp us for $120, but we had no takers. Tsk.
1515 – Realize it’s kind of odd to be standing on the corner, doing nothing, with no plans. Wally and I make plans to go do nothing.
1530 - Wally comes over. We take pictures of various things, such as Spongebob coming from the sky to kill me, Wally giving a cow an exam of its rear cavities, my roommate’s glasses coming to attack Wally and subsequently taking over his face, and a bunch of blocks.
1600 – Get laundry. Power is out, so the laundry place is lit by a flashlight strapped to an M4. Take more pictures.
1630 – Get more batteries so we can take more pictures on Saturday (the day that I get the entire! day! off!)
1700 – Go back home. Get Christina. Have Thanksgiving dinner again. See a sign in the DFAC wishing us a “Happy Tnanksgiving”. Thanksgiving is now known as Tnanksgiving, and that just never gets old with us.
1800 – Go outside and stand across from the DFAC and sing Tnanksgiving caroles. Just one – the Thanksgiving song from Adam Sandler.
1900 – We’re all in my room talking and hanging out. I fall asleep.
0200 – Wake up to take off my boots.
0400 – Wake up to the sound of one hella big explosion, the first that I’ve ever not slept through.
0401 – Fall back asleep.
0700 – Wake up to start my day with a nice, ice cold shower.

Sorry to my parents and brothers whom I neglected to call last night; I was thinking of you throughout the day and was thinking about how sad it was that there were no green bean casseroles or football games or brothers to pick on me.

Happy Tnanksgiving from Baghdad.

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