Sometimes I think I’m cursed.

The other night, a cricket jumped up my nose.

It didn’t just jump on my face.  It jumped up my nose and then it sat there.  It took me a moment to process the fact that something was ON MY FACE and when I smacked myself in the face and knocked it off, I saw that it was a giant cricket and I wanted to throw up.

About 10 minutes later, lucky me! I sat down, hard, on a bench, but I missed the bench and intsead sat on a metal thing that was sticking out that may have broken my tailbone except I have too much gas to be able to tell if it’s broken or not.

Only me.  Seriously.