Last Friday started my 4 days of rest and relaxation - R&R.  Or, as pirates would have it, ARRRRR and ARRRRRR.  It was me and Christina (pretty girl!!!); and then Wally (with whom I am stationed in Spain and didn’t know it til we got to South Carolina, he is also known as Supercuban Wonderboy); Jocelyn (Joceleeeeeen); and Beth (Beth Christ).  We had a fun group to go all together with.  Where did we go you ask?

قطر, aka Qatar (you probably couldn’t understand that first word because you were supposed to be reading it from right to left.  Mmhmm.). Yet another place I never thought I’d find myself.  Doha, to be specific.  Even more specific, Al Udeid (I always thought people called it “IUD” and wondered why they’d name a base after a contraceptive) and then As Saliyah. 

We get 4 days of R&R but it always turns into something more than 4 days.  Our start date was on Friday but we had to start on Thursday so we could drop off our 5th limb, our M16s. 

Thursday night I got a wee bit ill and by Friday was more than just a wee bit ill, more like “Someone Please Read Me My Last Rites” ill.  Because I was throwing up so much, I had decided to take some Phenergan -25 mg - that I was given when I had my last migraine to help me stop throwing up.  I took one and it stayed down for about a half an hour before coming back up right next to the entry control point at Baghdad International Airport (”BIAP”).  This marked the second point in the desert that I have left a little nugget of joy, the first being in Kuwait next to a pile of camel poo. 

After dispensing the contents of my stomach at BIAP, as well as my gall bladder and probably my appendix, too, I took another Phenergan - another 25 mg.  Phenergan always, always makes me extremely tired.  Not just tired, comatose.  Almost 50mg of Phenergan makes me sleep like a teenager on a Saturday morning.  Except that Saturday morning lasts 18 hours. 

I tried rather unsuccessfully to stay awake, and in between bouts of sleep I would get up and in a disoriented state, wander around until I found a new place to sleep and then pass out again.  I ended up sleeping on the gravel until the sun started baking my right leg, whenceforth I moved to the hard concrete and slept propped up on my body armor.  You’d be surprised how comfortable a 40 pound vest filled with bulletproof plates can be when you’re in a Phenergan-induced coma.  From there I made it to a slightly cooler spot next to some chairs, which unfortunately for me was covered in the ultrafine sand dust that is everywhere here.  From there I went inside a tent that had an air conditioner that probably worked but not enough for it to be comfortable, and I fell asleep on the floors there which are a hard plastic that resembles that metal that has the raised bumps on it that they use as industrial flooring…I don’t know what it’s called, but that doesn’t matter so much as the fact that it is hard, uncomfortable, and a place I slept for a couple of hours.  After sleeping under some chairs for a while I moved up against the tent wall, but that didn’t work so well since my left arm was baking to the same temperature as my left leg had been in the gravel.  From there I was back outside for some photo ops that I didn’t know about until I came to several hours later.  I really should have charged for people to take their photographs with me. 

What I’m hoping you’ve read through all that is that that was one hell of a long day.  We were at the airport at 8am and didn’t leave on our flight until about 1am.  We arrived at 3am only to find that they weren’t expecting us for another day and had to wait in an overly air conditioned tent where we - of course - slept some more.  They herded us onto buses where we sat for an hour and a half before they moved, and ended up at our brief at 6.  That was one long, long, long day.  I have pictures to size and upload to include with upcoming posts, and hopefully Christina will join in for some recap madness.

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for the warm welcome for me AND my eyebrows.  Your comments are appreciated and Thank You, again.

I would like to start out by telling you a little about myself. 

I grew up on a farm in a small town in Maryland.  I went off to college when I was 18 and dropped out by the time I was 20 because I knew everything and I didn’t need a stupid piece of paper to tell me how smart I am.  Oops.  Looking back I wish I would have finished but at the same time I’m glad that I didn’t because it put me on the path that I’m on today.

I just turned 26.  I am not married, I have no kids and I’m pretty happy about both of those.  I am in the Navy, if no one guessed from my cake modeling picture, and I’m pretty happy with that one too.

That’s all that I can really think of that’s interesting.  But, is this really who I am?  I was thinking about what to tell you about myself and I thought what better way then to just fill out a survey and post it.  Let me know what you think:

1.  You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
I think we’re mature enough that we can go double-dutch.  I don’t want him to feel he’s got to put out if I pay for the whole thing.

2.  Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently.
Alabama.  Not that I really have anything against Alabama but I needed to pick on at it’s the first one that came to mind.

3.  Luke Skywalker or Hans Solo? 
I’ll go with Hans Solo.

4.  Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
PowerWheels

5.  What’s an automatic deal breaker in a “potential” significant other?
Not liking pirates.

6.  What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
The Grudge made me pee my pants.

7.  Stupidest thing you’ve ever said out loud?
“‘P’ means Push, Stupid!”  said when someone tried to pull open a push door.

8.  You’re sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution, what do you want to eat?
Pigs in a Blanket.  Not the pancakes with sausage in them.  I’m talking about actual pigs in woolly blankets.

9.  What’s something that most people do that you’ve never done?
Ate Spam.

10.  A wild animal you’d like to have as a pet?
Koala.  I hear they’re really nasty though.

11.  If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?
Chad Crowl.

12.  First celebrity crush?
David Bowie.  Yummy, Goblin King.

13.  What’s a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
Poison.

14.  The worst injury you’ve ever had?
I ripped my thumb nail completely off.  It was kind of cool.  It looked like a Lee Press On Nail.

15.  Sport you hate the most?
Horseracing.

16.  What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
All the ones on the west coast.

17.  Favorite Actor/Actress? Ewan McGregor.  I saw him in Guys and Dolls in London.  So hot!

18.  What’s one phrase you absolutely detest?
However, comma.  That’s the one phrase that makes me want to cause bodily harm!

19.  What’s something most would consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you?
Cabrona

20.  Favorite kind of dog?
Beagle

21.  Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?
Ahhh…  Funnel Cake.

22.  Weirdest ebay purchase?
A lot of 12 My Little Ponies.  I got into a bidding war and refused to concede.

23.  Worst job you’ve ever had?
Knife salesman.

24.  Book you could read repeatedly?
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

42. Tell an interesting story about the last person to fill this out.
Hahahahaha!!!  Whack-a-Jess!!!  (I love you Jessica Bonito!)

Ok.  That’s all from me today.  I will leave you with one last nugget of joy. 

This is my niece, Helen.  She’s almost 9 months old and has just started to crawl.  Sometimes she likes her picture to be taken.  Sometimes not.

Thank you all for your emails recently - I apologize that it’s been so long since I’ve posted.  Whatever the reasons, I haven’t felt much up for posting lately but I have thought about it often. 

But now I have a renewed motivation, especially with the newest development:  A guest poster.  Meet Walter, aka Cabrona, aka K3, aka Christina.  Christina and I got here within a week of each other and have gotten to be good friends - she is as nutty (if not more nutty) than me and has an appreciation for the quirky things in life. 

So with that, we plan on posting more frequently (could there possibly be less frequently than lately?) and I am sure that the stories we’ll be bringing here will bring some much-needed humor back here.

All aboard the gravy train!  Welcome aboard, Walter Bean!  Your eyebrows look fantastic!