Missing out.
Yesterday was the day I felt the worst about of all the days I’d be missing while in Iraq: The first day of school. Mostly that it was Anja’s first day of kindergarten, an irreplaceable day that I think is one of the most monumentous milestones in my childrens’ lives. The day they take that giant step - no longer at home all day, but now independent and on the direct path that will take them to adulthood. The day you give them a hug and a kiss and cry because in no time, they’ll be so consumed with schoolwork, friends, and extracurriculur activities and no more kisses, Mom, I don’t want my friends to see!
As I may have mentioned before, there were two big “firsts” that I knew I would be missing out on: Anja’s first tooth being lost and her first day of school. I was able to be there for both with Isak and I just feel so bad that I couldn’t be there for her. I was very fortunate to be able to see her first tooth come out on the webcam (which, by the way, has not worked since then) but I knew there would be nothing to help me be there for the first day of school.
Fortunately, with the ever-wonderful B, I knew there would be pictures so at least I got something. But they were so bittersweet - getting to see them so excited at the front door but not being able to be there to hold their hands on their way to school. Getting to see them in their classrooms but not being able to see what they were doing. I’m grateful for what I have but I spent a long time thinking about whether or not this was all worth it.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I was walked in on while having a particularly bad moment after getting off the phone with the kids (”Mamma, I miss you so much!” “Mamma, why aren’t you coming home? Why can’t you just get on an airplane and come home?”) and got some good counseling. It was just the right kind of counseling that wasn’t negating my feelings but also reminded me to think about why I chose to come here in the first place. I do feel like I am doing something very worthwhile here; I just hope that someday my children understand that.
KristinaM
(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))
Your kids know you’d be there if you could. Not that helps right now.
KristinaM
MichelleP
Karen,
Isak and Anja Ros are thriving. Anyone can see that. They are blessed to have a wonderful father AND mother. You are an incredible role model for them, showing your precious babes how to live and love well.
And I know I’ve said this before, but I do believe that Isak is your Mini-Me. He resembles you so strongly. Anja was just a toddler when I met her in Newport. Now she is in K, just as my Lily Pearl is.
I so enjoy reading your posts here. Makes me appreciate knowing someone as dynamic as you, my friend.
Michelle (masp)
Heide
Karyn,
They look so adorable and excited for their first day! How totally cool…
You and B are a great team, which is evidenced by those amazing smiles.
Hang in there - you’re doing awesome!!!
Sara
Karyn,
I got to see Anja and B on Tuesday morning. She looked so cute! I tried to talk to her but she did not seem to remember me! LOL!! I am so sad that the girls are not in the same class! Hopefully they will see each other out on the playground.
Big ((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) Karyn!!!!
Kristina
How long you got left? Seems like you’ve already et up half your time. Your kids are adorable! How do they get dressed so cute without you? One day when one of them is famous they’ll publicly thank you for your civic duties.
Laura
Great big giant hugs!
I am sorry you are so far away on this day but thank you for the sacrifices of both you and your family in keeping America safe.
Those are great pics and soon you will be home taking some of your own!
>>>>>>>>>
Brenda (MM2001)
Thank you for everything you are doing for the USA! (((HUGS))) for you!
Loved the pics. I can’t believe how grown up Anja looks. I love the little sprinkle of freckles on her nose…so cute!
Emily
OMG, is Isak just too cute for words or WHAT?!? What a face! LOL! And Anja is obviously THRILLED to be at school. I hurt for you, Karyn because I can imagine how tough it is to only see these moments through pictures. But I hope you can look forward and hopefully, by your sacrifice now, your children will live in peace and security to see these moments in their own childrens’ faces.
((((HUGS))))
Asta
Just wanted to send you lot,lot of hugs.
Love from Iceland.
Jen
HUGS.
Kristina
Did I mention I send lots of love too? Smooch and a bear hug!
Mary
(hugs) Wish words would help, but they fall short–your children look wonderful and impish and joyful–I’m sure they know you are on the other side of the picture, looking at them . . . and they are smiling for you!
Jen
Hey- you haven’t updated in a while now- hope everything is okay!
Julie
Karyn, I think of you every day, but especially today on September 11 I want to thank you for the sacrifices you and your family are making. I’ve been rereading some things I wrote 5 years ago and all the shock and disbelief of that day still seem so fresh. Many many thanks to all of you who are serving our country. We love you.
Gemma
Karyn, I haven’t commented in an age but I check in all the time. How awful for you to miss the first day, but I am sure that even if they don’t understand now they will one day know that you did the right thing. And they must be ever so proud of you right now.
Hope you are ok.
Katey (dvd143)
The pictures are precious. Your personal message to your kids.. to follow your heart and your dreams and your honor.. is even more precious. You are there out of love for your children and their children. For our future. For their future. And I know in my heart you are doing them proud.
I am sorry you have missed these moments. I am glad B takes pictures to help. Though I know this cannot replace some of the missing inside.